travel.

     I don't know what it is about traveling that seems to bring a sense of renewal to our systems. Every once in a while, I find myself needing a bit of space from almost everything. It may just be me, but I know if I'm in one place for too long, I feel the need to break out.

I probably sound crazy, but if you have a bit of a gypsy heart like me, you know exactly what I mean. I can feel the seasons in my life changing, just as they do here on earth. For a good little bit, I was at the absolute lowest point I had been in a very long time. I couldn't see myself or anything good in any situation, which is not me, at all. It scares me that a lack of financial security, even for a short period of time, shook me the way it did; which is why I decided it would never happen again. I will forever be the most stubborn person I know. I refuse to sink, as cliche as that may sound. Even if I was on the brink of drowning, I clung to the surface with every ounce of strength I had.

Sitting on the porch at the first home I ever knew, I feel so aware of how far I've come. Though I know there is so much stability here, and an obvious cop out to the difficulties I was facing for so long, this is not where I need to grow. I don't know if I'll ever be the type of girl to plant my roots in any land. I'll occupy branches where I find grace and light and love. I think I'll always attach to people more than places.

I found myself recently distancing myself from souls and spirits that I love dearly. Not writing. Not doing my makeup. Not answering my phone, or responding to attempts to chat. I knew right then, when I caught myself doing so, that I needed just a bit of breathing room.

I am rambling. I can't help it sometimes. But to anyone out there where the weight of the world seems to be crushing your spirit and pulling the happiness out of your soul, take a day, maybe five, and just relax. Find yourself again. Take a deep breath, and remember that this life is simply what you make it.

All of my love,
k.