Thoughts from 28,000 feet.

Hi lovelies,

I'm currently somewhere inbetween Long Island, and Baltimore, about 30,000ft above land. I've been on a plane many times, but each time seems different. I don't know how people could not stare out the window the entire time, as I do. I understand fears and anxieties about flying, and trust me, ya girl always feels them as I'm about to take off or land, but the thing is, flying above the clouds is something beyond what my mind can process. 

       

For 20 years my feet had never left the northeast. Now I'm casually traveling 800 miles back to Charlotte. It's just a bizarre thing that comes with growing up. But these clouds y'all, I could cry. It's the most incredible thing, every single time. It just gives me hope. I'm clinging to my dreams right now with every fiber of my being, so any little bits of strength that I can receive from the sky are appreciated greatly. There's something that gives me a push up here. I'm ready to go back to my southern comfort zone and get my life back. 

I just figured I'd do a little post, and maybe give y'all some Saturday motivation. It's time to put my phone down now and enjoy this view.

Thank you everyone again for flying along with me through my journey. Your support means the world to me.

Love always,

K. 

Las Vegas.

Hello lovelies,

I planned on writing a review today, but I can't bring myself to do so, because these past two days have been so incredibly heavy. As all of us know now, 59 innocent lives were stolen, and over 500 people have been reported hospitalized  in Las Vegas on October the 1st at the Route 91 harvest festival, a country music event. 

    I come to you today, offering a safe place to write how you're feeling, because I myself have no words to convey my condolences to those who were partaking in one of the best parts of life, music. Being able to see some of your favorite performers is thrilling, it is life changing, and it should be fun. For those at the festival, life definitely has changed. As many have been saying, my thoughts and prayers are absolutely with the victims and families of this senseless crime. 

     I don't want to talk politics, because I am not well informed about the laws governing gun regulations. I want people to be able to openly express how they are feeling in this time. Last year, I dedicated a post to those who lost their lives in Orlando during the Pulse Nightclub shooting, and it was a way for me to convey my thoughts. I am scared. We live in an extremely dangerous time. A time where someone, in a matter of minutes, has changed American history forever, for the worse. 

    Living in the south had been a dream of mine for a bit of time. Living here has giving me the ability to go and see country music artists who I have loved, in both indoor and outdoor arenas. We should not have to be afraid to go into those places. It is extremely unnerving to be seeing what has happened, and knowing that if that was here in North Carolina, it could have been my friends, it could have been my family. Knowing that it can, and does happen anywhere, is terrifying.

     But we cannot let a mad man decide to take over our day to day life, and our futures. Let your voices be heard. Speak out, tell people how you are feeling about Las Vegas. I salute those first responders, brave concert goers, law enforcement and all those who helped during the tragedy. Tell your families, friends, and loved ones what they mean to you on a constant basis. If you believe in God, or a higher being, pray for those who lost their lives, and those who are now living with the memories of what occurred that night.

            

Las Vegas, my heart is with you today and always. I pray for solice and comfort for those impacted in the upcoming days, months, and years. 

All of my love,

 

Kristen. 

Cooking with Kristen; comfort.

Hello there loves,

So if you know me, you probably read that caption and either laughed or got very nervous. I'm not a chef, and I'm pretty terrible at cooking to say the least. BUT I can cook a few things, and I've discovered one more this week that I made and didn't die/actually fell in love with.

Being far away from home and family really sucks sometimes, and ya girl needed some good comfort food to pick herself up. My mom used to always make huge pots of soup, and I loved every single one of them. So I decided to make a big pot of chicken noodle soup, and let me tell ya, this shit is good for the soul.

(I'm Italian, and  I don't know how to cook for one person, so this made about 4 pint containers worth of soup, good for freezing.)

Ingredients:

1 4 pound whole dryer chicken

5 large carrots

2 large yellow onions

5 celery stalks

5 cups water

2 cans chicken stock

4 boullion cubes

1 packet Bag and Bake chicken seasoning (mccormicks)

Dried parsley

Dried thyme

Dried oregano

Black pepper

Salt

Seems like a shit ton of stuff, but it's really easy.

Step one: 

Make sure to take the gizzards out of your chicken(without puking) cut down the chicken into pieces. Into the biggest damn pot you have, add in your water, chicken pieces, and boullion cubes over high heat. Chop one of your onions into quarters and throw it in there as well. 

Step two:

I think the main reason why this stock was so good is because of the shitload of seasoning I added into it. By eye, add in your parsley, which I love a ton of, s&p, oregano, thyme, and bagged seasoning. Put a lid on that bitch and let it boil. 

Step three:

Peel and chop your celery, other onion, and carrots into small pieces and add to a large sauce pan, and turn on medium. To that, I added in one can of chicken broth, and brought up to a simmer. I let this cook for a good bit of time, because I prefer my veggies in my soup to be more on the mushy side as gross as that sounds. This takes about 20 minutes. Once to your consistency, put to the side. 

Step four:

After about an hour over high heat, check your chicken and ensure that it is boiled to perfection. Remove fat from the top of the stock with a spoon and toss in the garbage. Remove chicken from stock and let it relax for a few minutes before cutting. In the meantime, I removed the large pieces of onion from the chicken pot and made sure there was no skin or bones left in the pot. Remove chicken from the bones, and cut into chunks. I like my soup to be hearty, but it's up to you how you'd like it cut. 

Step five:

Once all of your chicken is chopped, place back into stock, and add in your celery, carrots, and onions. Add in one can of broth, and one can of water to your stock, and let simmer for about 20 minutes. Now, you can add in noodles, or rice, or whatever you'd like! 

As I said, I'm no chef, but this is how I made my chicken soup, and I think it was delish. What tips of tricks do you have to the perfect soup?

 Let me know. 

Pamper night.

The perfect pamper night:

Start by pulling your hair back; and cleansing your skin with warm water. This will help to open your pores and wash away the day a bit.  After this, with a cotton pad, I use an intense cleanser to get around my most oil prone spots. It feels amazing, and keeps away any little break outs that may decide to show up randomly when I definitely don't need them.

Next, what I like to do is apply both hyaluronic acid, and coconut water to help bring back some moisture to my face. I feel as though even though my skin is combo/oily, this truly makes my skin look firmer and feel better.

After the serum and mist, apply a face mask of your choice. Now I know that sheet masks are all the rage, but I'm definitely more of a thick mask kind of girl. Whether it be the first aid beauty one as shown above, or a clay mask, I love having one in my pamper routine at least twice a week. If for nothing else, it's a little treat, and makes me feel like I have my shit together for a sec. 

Next, a really long hot shower. Scrub off all the shit that makes ya feel nasty, and enjoy your time away from the world. Use a hair mask if you have one, or just let your conditioner sit in for a bit longer. It works miracles, I promise. 

When getting out, the first thing I like to do after drying off and moisturizing is putting on deoderant. You don't wanna stink right after you worked hard to get clean. I focus on my hair for a bit before putting it up into a towel. My hair is extremely long, so I like to comb it out, and apply the Living Proof split end mender to the bottom half of my hair. It smells amazing, and does show pretty good results. I also add a little bit of the Toni and Guy volume whip to my roots, just to add to it if I decide to blow dry. 

Lastly, a bit of moisturizer and a spritz of rose water spray, and some cozy time in bed. 

I find that having a night like this a few times a week really helps my anxiety, and calms me down greatly. 

What are your favorite pamper time

 beauty or bath products?

Let me know!

Until then,

K.

Worth a thousand words.

Hello lovelies,

Last weekend, my boyfriend and I went to a cider brewery (don't know if that's the right term exactly)

 for a little impromptu day drinking date. 

It was nice out, 

and we decided to sit outside and enjoy the weather.

 He, partially-candidly took this picture of me, 

and shared it on his instagram.

At first, of course, 

I thought it was adorable that he instagrammed me, 

as any social media loving girl would. 

Then, almost like clockwork, in my mind,

 I started ripping myself apart. 

My eyes went directly to my chins, 

my arm fat, the mark in my shirt, 

how my boobs looked, that my hair was frizzy, etc. 

I literally had to stop myself.

 This girl in the photo was having an amazing, beautiful day with her best friend in the world, smiling and posing for a photo, and yet I, was sitting here now staring at her, picking at her every "flaw." 

    He decided to post this. 

And then, so did I. The only person in the world who can tear me down so badly, is myself. This picture captured a genuine moment of calmness, and happiness in my life, and I considered deleting it because of my issues with my own self image. 

Why do we erase precious moments,

 when we should be cherishing them? 

I am extremely lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life who shows me off. It is something I've never had before, and it is such a new thing to me. 

Have you done this before?

Before you erase something, 

think about what you were doing at that very moment.

 Did it capture something you can't relive? 

Then keep it.

You don't have to post it,

But you also don't have to use it as target practice either.

Sending all of my love your way.

Until then,

K. 

Let's talk about it.

Hello lovelies.

     Welcome back to the world of rants by Kristen. I started this little blog as a way to try to delve into the beauty and fashion world all from my desk, in my suburban home on Long Island, as a junior in high school. Many years later, with four years of college under my belt, I'm finally at a point where I'm ready for my little journal to be more than what it is. 

   With 20,000+ page views, and a passion for spreading body positivity, love, and my views self expression through style, I find myself constantly wishing for more. I am incredibly thankful for every single person who reaches out and talks to me about my page. I used to find it semi embarrassing, as this was simply a place that I thought of as mine. But here's the thing, it isn't. It is just as much yours, as it is mine. I'm currently sitting on my balcony, at 2:00am, as you do of course, and really trying to think about where I should be. Who am I? How can I do the things I want to do? How can I turn myself into the person I truly am on the inside? And, where do I find these answers? 

    To my readers, and anyone with advice, I ask you, how do you transform a platform such as mine into something more than this? As happy as I am with the successes my page has had, I feel as though I can speak to so many people in my position, and help to influence their lives positively regarding body image. If you have any advice, please reach out to me on any media and help a girl out. I am ready to show my full potential. 

Again, with all of my heart, thank you guys for sticking with me through the good and the bad. I truly appreciate the support.

All of my love, always,

Kristen. 

Plus size girl in a skinny world?

Hello lovelies,

I've wanted to write this for a little while, but was unsure of how to word it without being insulting, or saying something I didn't actually mean. For the past few months I have worked for a company that sells beautiful clothing. I merchandise, style, and help clients, which is something I truly love doing.

The only part that has taken a while for me to understand, or to even try to grasp, is how the clothing actually fits. I, as anyone who knows me would know, am a plus sized girl. The brand I am representing sells clothing up to a size, about 14(and that's kind of pushing it if I'm being honest) cannot remember the last time I was a size 14. It takes a toll on my confidence every day that I sell these garments and have no idea of how they fit or what they look like on. It's just tough, and quite honestly, it bugs the fuck out of me.

And the thing is, it really hadn't bothered me until last week. Until a new associate in the store I work at, asked me if I needed help finding the "women's " section. Now, I know she wasn't trying to be rude, and I quickly told her I worked for the brand in the zone I was in, but it truly caught me off guard. The "womens" section, and the section I were working in, are literally across the store from each other. The plus sized clothing is literally shoved into the back corner of the second floor, where you wouldn't find it if you just walked through.

The average American woman is not a size 2. She's in the double digits. So why on earth are those pieces of clothing hidden? I take pride in being very good with sales, and being able to sell just about anything I put my mind to, but this has made me really start to try to figure things out. 

How do you sell something that you can't stand behind, or stand in, without being questioned?

Just needed to rant a bit tonight. 

Let me know what you think. ❤️

Until then,

Kristen. 

June mess.

Hello lovelies.

I'd normally start by apologizing for my lack of posts in the last few weeks, but I'm not going to do that. I have been a mess these past few weeks and I really don't know how to explain it or describe it other than a "funk." I've started a new incredible job, moved into a beautiful new apartment with my best friend, and I am doing everything possible to make myself happy first. Here's the thing; I don't think I am unhappy, because my life is full of so much love, but there have been days where I literally cannot pull myself out of bed. 

Some of the closest people in my life are the ones I'm pushing away and that terrifies me, and I can't stop. I don't know how to talk about what's "wrong" because I literally have no idea what to say. I feel like I'm writing this today because I have so many words built up inside of me and I needed to spit something out before I explode. Maybe it's hormones, or what not, but I'm so ready to feel like myself again. When I catch myself literally struggling to get in the shower, or get out of the car to go into a shop, or to do my hair, I get so agitated. I get irritable and hard to be around and I can't help but fear that people will be disheartened and leave. And maybe I haven't been the best friend lately, but god fucking damnit, I am fighting something bigger than myself and I'm tired of apologizing for not "hanging out." If I were in others shoes, I wouldn't want to be around me either, but you see, what I think makes me different than others is I over sympathize with any situation. I make myself look like a fucking jackass, and I try to cling to people who push me away, so I internally think the same will be done in return. And yet, it hasn't. And I end up looking like the bad guy. And I'm not shocked.

So what I'm saying, and asking, for anyone who has beautiful eyes that dance along this rant, is for a little support, and understanding, that know that sometimes anxiety is weird. And hard to handle. What does one do to pull yourself out of this? 

With all of my love,

K.

Bronzed beauty.

Hello lovelies, 

As a girl who grew up on Long Island, and whose whole family has beautiful olive Italian skin tones, I have learned to love bronzer as much any "guido." (No offense, of course.) 

I feel as though bronzer can be one of the tougher products to kind of nail down ; because in my case, if I use too little, I look like a ghost, and if I use too much, I look either orange, or too damn dark and then my face doesn't match my neck.

Just a couple suggestions as to my favorite bronzers, as we are getting deeper into spring time and closer to summer, it is easy to go from pale to orange, and NOBODY has time for that. All of these recommendations are matte shades too, because unless I'm going out and using shimmery tones on say the highlight area, or collar bones, I want nothing to do with glittery bronzer. 

1. Benefit Hoola Bronzer

Now, I know this has been out for a hot second, but the thing is, it's a one size fits all kind of product. If you use this deeper chocolate toned bronzer very sparingly on the forehead, temples, cheeks, ect, it is a beautiful look. It can also be used to contour using the right brushes, and correct amount. This can be found in store like Ulta, and Sephora. I've had mine for probably five months and just hit pan on it this week. It's worth the little boost in price, definitely. 

2. Rimmel Natural Bronzer: Sundance

Super light powder, but as much as you pile on, it doesn't ever seem cakey, or as if you've dipped your face in paint. I've been using this product for YEARS and I recommend rimmel face powders over any drugstore product. The only bad thing about this, is since it is a compacted powder, they tend to shatter easily once you've used a majority of the product. Other than that, I have no complaints, and use this all of the time.

3. Too Faced Milk Chocolate Soleil - Light Medium

Y'all, if you need a chocolate fix but you're on a diet, ya need this. Not only is it probably one of the easiest bronzers to wear, but it smells like straight up hot cocoa. It lasts all day, and doesn't ever get splotchy. I went for light medium when I purchased it, thinking it would be a perfect transition color for me going into the summer, and so far, so good. Worth the $. 

What are your recommendations for summer products?

Let me know!

Until then, 

K.

Mirror, mirror.

Hi lovelies, 

I recently watched a short video on YouTube about body positivity, 

but it wasn't like any I had ever seen before. 

It changed the way I will speak aloud about myself forever. 

The concept of the video was for others to hear the

 negative things we say about ourselves. 

Instead of looking into a mirror and saying nasty horrible things that we think, 

the people were directing the comments at their best friends. 

My heart hurt terribly watching it. 

I could never imagine saying the awful things that I think about myself, 

to another human being, let alone, my best friend.

It started by the girls already becoming emotional,

 holding cue cards, and telling each other 

"I love you."

 Then, each girl read a card with a flaw that they think about themselves personally, 

and directed it toward the other. 

For example...one read

 "people are going to make fun of the way your fat falls over your bra strap," 

something that bothers her,

 but that her friend may not have known she internally hates about herself.

The look in the eyes of the friends were sheer horror 

as they heard what the other truly thought about themselves. 

It made me really think deeply about the things

 I saw outwardly to my friends about my personal issues with my body.

 Now, I'm not saying that we should suppress our feelings 

and not speak aloud about what's going on in our heads;

 what I am saying though, is to truly think about it.

 The people who you call your best friends, love you, unconditionally. 

They do not judge you based on your "flaws'', 

and should hold you up on a pedestal. 

This is the video, directed by The Scene 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzT2ZzDXceg

Take a second, watch the entire thing, and really let it sink it.

You are beautiful.

Stop bringing yourself down. 

I love you all dearly, 

Kristen.

Morning skincare routine

Hi lovelies!

It's been a bit, I know, but I'm really wanting to get back into my old ways of posting more frequently.  I figured I'd start here. My skin, for the longest time, be it stress or the weather or hormones, was a complete pain in the ass. I tried just about everything to get it back to its normal state, and these products each morning have saved my life y'all.

1. Yes to Cucumbers : 

calming micellar cleansing water

A dream in a bottle. I have loved micellar water for a very long time. Using a product to remove makeup that doesn't consist of heavy oils is such a life saver. My skin is combination to oily, so finding a product that actually removes my makeup and leaves my skin feeling fresh is very exciting. 

2. First Aid Beauty: 

3 in 1 Bouncy Mask

Using this mask even two to three times a week had brought so much life back to my skin after the winter. Regardless of Charlotte not being freezing cold in the winter, the cold air still sucks a ton of moisture from your skin. Applying this to my cheeks, chin, forehead, and under eyes has made my skin feel tighter and even had brightened it a bit. 

3. Clarins: 

Light Comfort Lip Oil

If you've ever had chapped or damaged lips in any way, this shall be your new holy grail product. It is incredibly replenishing and soothing without being extremely heavy. I will recommend this to anyone and everyone I'll ever meet. 

4. Pixie: 

Glow Tonic

I use this instead of using a toner, and it leaves my skin feeling so incredibly clean and fresh, without burning or damaging it all. Along with the other products, I've seen areas of my skin become brighter and look so much better than before. It's a YouTube beauty favorite, so I decided to try it, and I fell in love.

5. Yes to Tomatoes: 

Daily Balancing Moisturizer 

I'm probably the worst at applying moisturizer daily. Keeping this little bottle next to my makeup reminds me to apply it daily, and it genuinely has calmed my skin so much. Also, I find products last a lot longer on my skin since I've started applying it. It keeps my skin feeling healthy without feeling heavy.   

6. Mario Badescue: Rose facial spray

Way better than using an artificial or chemical based setting spray, this rose water based facial spray leaves you feeling refreshed and dewy without looking greasy. I apply this before and after I do my makeup for the day, and sometimes throughout the day if I feel my skin getting dry. 

What are your everyday products? 

Let me know!

Until then,

K. 

travel.

     I don't know what it is about traveling that seems to bring a sense of renewal to our systems. Every once in a while, I find myself needing a bit of space from almost everything. It may just be me, but I know if I'm in one place for too long, I feel the need to break out.

I probably sound crazy, but if you have a bit of a gypsy heart like me, you know exactly what I mean. I can feel the seasons in my life changing, just as they do here on earth. For a good little bit, I was at the absolute lowest point I had been in a very long time. I couldn't see myself or anything good in any situation, which is not me, at all. It scares me that a lack of financial security, even for a short period of time, shook me the way it did; which is why I decided it would never happen again. I will forever be the most stubborn person I know. I refuse to sink, as cliche as that may sound. Even if I was on the brink of drowning, I clung to the surface with every ounce of strength I had.

Sitting on the porch at the first home I ever knew, I feel so aware of how far I've come. Though I know there is so much stability here, and an obvious cop out to the difficulties I was facing for so long, this is not where I need to grow. I don't know if I'll ever be the type of girl to plant my roots in any land. I'll occupy branches where I find grace and light and love. I think I'll always attach to people more than places.

I found myself recently distancing myself from souls and spirits that I love dearly. Not writing. Not doing my makeup. Not answering my phone, or responding to attempts to chat. I knew right then, when I caught myself doing so, that I needed just a bit of breathing room.

I am rambling. I can't help it sometimes. But to anyone out there where the weight of the world seems to be crushing your spirit and pulling the happiness out of your soul, take a day, maybe five, and just relax. Find yourself again. Take a deep breath, and remember that this life is simply what you make it.

All of my love,
k.

Smell ya later.

Hi lovelies, 

One of my favorite things in the whole world is perfume.

 I am completely obsessed with anything that smells good,

 and if it can make me smell good,

 I'm going to have it. 

This is probably going to sound really weird, 

but I know a lot of people will probably agree, I tie events, people, 

and memories to smells. 

When a certain candle, perfume, or cologne,

 reminds me of a person or a place I've been, it triggers emotion.

Okay, enough weird Kristen mentality rambling, 

here are my top fragrances from the past year.

1. Jo Malone 

Peony and Blush Suede

- I've discussed this in a previous post, but if you get the chance to smell this, you will know what I typically smell like. I was initially intrigued by this after hearing multiple of my favorite youtubers raving about it, and the second I tried it and realized it worked really well with my skin, I had to have it. Its ridiculously expensive, but I've had it for about 2 months, wear way too much of it on the daily, and it's barely made a dent. If you're looking for a simple, clean yet floral everyday scent, ya need to check this out. 

2. Marc Jacobs 

Daisy Dream

- If you knew me in high school, all I ever wore was Daisy by Marc Jacobs. I carried the huge bottle in my multi color Coach tote bag and thought I was the classiest bitch. I love Daisy with all of my heart, but Daisy Dream completely steals the show for me. The notes include: blackberry, blue wisteria, coconut water, white woods, jasmine, ect. Daisy dream is a perfect everyday fruity floral, and is a fun, long lasting fragrance. 

3. Soap & Glory 

Original Pink Body Spray

- Y'all, Soap & Glory is killing the damn game. I live by the "Clean On Me" body wash, and "Face Soap and Clarity Facial Wash", but I picked up two of the body sprays to give as gifts and ended up keeping both for myself. Shame on me, right? Not sorry at all. It is DELICIOUS. Fragrance notes include: rose ( which I typically despise), jasmine, patchouli, and summer rain. Probably one of the best body sprays I've ever used, and it's SIX dollars for a 3.3oz bottle. Winning. (do people still say that, because I'm not stopping.)

4. Victoria's Secret 

Love Spell

- Stop it right now. You probably think I'm lying but 2004 Kristen is back and I cannot contain my love for Love Spell. My boyfriends sister gave me a bottle for Christmas (thank you for rekindling my love if you're reading this), and I cannot stop spraying it. I used to drown myself in this scent and was so overwhelmed by it for so long, and haven't had it in years. I think my 2000's pop-punk playlist, along with my bottle of Love Spell is literally bringing me back to my old self, and I could not be more stoked.(And Ps, the packaging is way cuter, and easier to shove in any purse now (including any multicolored coach you may still be adorning.)

What scents bring you back?

Love Always, 

K.

2017.

2016.

The year that came in like a lion, 

and out like one as well.

A true test of faith, love, agility, and focus.

A year of discovery.

A year of changed paths.

A year of self destruction and improvement all at once.

2016 was the hardest year I've ever faced.

I watched as my well planned journey took a detour,

 and shifted my entire mind.

I danced in celebration of finding inner confidence 

and love for myself.

I screamed as everything fell apart, 

and cheered as I saw myself pulling it back together.

Maybe it's not perfect, but it's a work in progress.

That is my 2017 in theory.

A year of rebuilding.

I fucking hate resolutions.

I never make them, 

and I hate hearing about them.

I see ahead now. 

I'm not planning anymore.

I will follow as the run rises and sets.

It's going to be really a test of mind over matter.

Cheers to you, 

for making it through a historically strange year.

Thank you to my followers for reading, 

supporting, and encouraging me always, 

especially through this year through some pretty tough times.

Happy New Year.

I wish any eyes that glance across these words a year of revival.

I love you all, 

K.